Pastors Jeremy and Jen give real-life advice based on their 30+ years together on what it takes to have a healthy marriage. Discover several key principles that can be applied to any relationship.
Notes 📓✏️:
We are all a work in progress.
1. Have a Christ-Centered Foundation.
Matthew 7:24-25: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”
Your shared faith in Jesus will be the superpower that helps your marriage last.
1. We will go to church together.
2. We will not allow cultural value systems to lead our relationship.
3. We will not allow anger or resentment to take root.
4. We will not allow another person to meet needs that our spouse alone should be meeting.
“Romance in marriage is fueled by exclusivity.”
5. We are committed to fighting for our marriage.
2. Understand healthy, thriving relationships have healthy and thriving communication habits.
55% Non-verbal
38% Tone of voice (change in pitch)
7% Our words
We communicate, but don’t have real connection.
Barriers to Healthy Communication:
Pride – You think you’re right.
Fear – Afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Busyness – You don’t take the time.
Preoccupation – Distracted and not listening.
Close-mindedness – You think the other person should think like you do.
Lack of Awareness – Self-absorbed.
Speak with the goal of connection, not just talking.
Listen with the goal of understanding, not just replying.
Having a priority of helping the other person’s life win.
3. Practice selfless love and servanthood.
Romans 12:10 (NIV): “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
4. Understand the other person’s love language.
“The Five Love Languages – The Secret to Love that Lasts” By Gary Chapman
5 Love Languages:
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Receiving Gifts
Jeremy:
Acts of Services
Receiving Gifts
Physical Touch
Jen:
Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation
You have to learn to laugh together.
5. Cover each other’s weaknesses so both are made stronger.
1 Peter 4:8 (NIV): “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
You can choose to either…
Look for and amplify the faults of the other person.
Or
Cover the shortcomings with deep love and grace.
“Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”
Discussion Questions đź“ťâť“:
- What does it truly mean to have a Christ-centered foundation in a relationship, and why is it so important?
- Pastors Jeremy and Jen shared about how the majority of communication in relationships is non-verbal. What are some practical ways this might change your communication in important relationships?
- Reflecting on the idea of love languages, how can understanding each other’s love languages strengthen relationships?
- What are some practical ways we can practice selfless love in our daily interactions?